So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
