quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
