You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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