sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Randomize
