I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
