i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
