if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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