I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
