Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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