im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
