a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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