Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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