I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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