Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
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