Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
