hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
