I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
