there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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