....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
why do cheetos always look like penises
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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