what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
