Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
