I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Randomize
