I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
