I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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