Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
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