remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
