if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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