Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
