i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
