I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
