We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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