from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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