Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
