I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize