i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
