You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Randomize
