My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
