white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
