Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
how does that bad decision feel?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
