I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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