She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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