My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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