I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Randomize
