i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
