A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
