Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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