dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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