btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
