I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
There r osticjed everywhere
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
