I must be too annoying 4 u.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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