I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
